Chapter One
"Your name is Anna."
Anna. She wasn't sure she liked the name. Certainly didn't feel any affinity to it, any sense of ownership. Her heart started to pound.
"No one seems to know who you are," the doctor said almost conversationally. "You didn't have ID on you when they brought you in, just a locket around your neck engraved with that name. We were hoping you could tell us more."
Terror threatening to consume her, she shook her head. "Where am I?" Even her voice was unfamiliar, husky.
She tried not to flinch as he lifted her eyelids and shone his light into her eyes. "You're on the fifth floor of Madison General Hospital in New York City. I'm Dr. Gordon, a neurologist and your attending physician." The tall, thin, white-coated man spoke as if reassuring a child.
New York.
"What day is it?"
"Tuesday. The first of July."
July. Summer.
"How long have I been here?"
"Since late yesterday afternoon."
She digested that piece of information slowly, but the cotton wool surrounding her mind remained alarmingly intact. Time meant nothing to her, either, it seemed. "What's wrong with me? Why don't I remember anything?" she cried.
"You took quite a bump on the head, and though the tests show no real damage, temporary memory loss isn't that unusual in this type of situation. If you'll just relax, things will probably start coming back to you almost immediately. In a few days you should be just fine," the doctor said with a smile, although he was watching her intently. "The baby doesn't seem to have suffered at all."
"Baby?" she whispered. What baby? Where? She looked around her at the sterile empty room. "I have a baby?"
"You're eight weeks pregnant, Anna," he said, feeling her pulse.
His watchful eyes continued to study her.
Anna. Pregnant. Pregnant Anna.
"None of this sounds familiar?" the doctor asked kindly.
She shook her head, and her fear increased when she saw the disappointment cross his face. Both he and the nurse who'd been in her room when she awoke had been kind to her. She clung to that kindness as Dr. Gordon's words failed to jar any memory from her at all.
"Well, just to be certain that there wasn't more damage than at first appeared, I'm going to write an order for more tests this afternoon. But don't worry, Anna, traumatic memory loss isn't uncommon. Chances are your memory will return shortly."
And what if it doesn't?
Dr. Gordon continued to explain her condition, speaking of a subway crash she had no recollection of, the trauma to her brain, the news bulletins being issued statewide in an attempt to reach anyone who knew her. But his words were like background noise, an irritation, nearly drowned out by the voice in her head aimlessly repeating the only words that meant anything to her-and yet meant, frighteningly, nothing at all. Anna. Pregnant.
She didn't feel like an Anna. She ran her hand along the flatness of her belly beneath the stark white hospital sheet. And she certainly didn't feel pregnant.
A baby. Surely the doctor was wrong. She'd remember something as important as a baby growing inside of her. She'd remember the man who'd helped put it there. Wouldn't she? Her chest constricted, making it difficult to breathe.
"Am I crazy, Doctor?"
"No! Of course not." He patted her foot beneath the covers. "The mind has its own ways of dealing with shock. Yours is merely doing its job, protecting you to get you through a hellish ordeal. You were one of the lucky ones, coming out of the crash virtually unscathed."
Anna nodded.
"Do you have any more questions?"
Of course she did. A million of them. But only one that mattered. And apparently one he couldn't answer. Who am I?
She shook her head again, harder. And then wished she hadn't as a wave of dizziness washed over her. She did have another question. What's going to happen to me? But she didn't ask it. She couldn't. Not yet. She was too afraid of the answer.
"We'll talk later," the doctor said, smiling down at her. "Right now you just need to rest - and eat. You're far too thin."
Was she? Tears flooded Anna's eyes as she realized the doctor knew her body better than she did. Did she have freckles? Birthmarks he knew about and she didn't? Scars she wouldn't know the history of? What color were her eyes? Was there anyone she knew on the subway with her?
"Do you have a mirror?" she asked, hoping he couldn't hear the panic in her voice. How did you live in a stranger's body, in a stranger's mind?
"I'll have a nurse bring one in." Dr. Gordon turned away, almost as if he was finding this incredibly horrible situation as difficult as she was. "You probably have your own obstetrician, but I'm going to send Dr. Amy Litton in to see you later today to talk to you about vitamins and prenatal care. She was called in yesterday when your condition was first discovered. In the meantime try to rest, Anna. There'll be plenty of time for questions tomorrow."
Tomorrow. Anna lay completely still after the doctor left, her heart pounding as his last word brought on another attack of sheer terror. Tomorrow. How could she face tomorrow when she didn't even recognize today?
Dear God. What's to become of me? Slowly, concentrating, absorbing every sensation, she pulled her hands up the sides of her body and out from under the sheet she'd found tucked around her when she'd first awoken. Her skin was soft, her breasts firm, full. But she was bony, just like the doctor had said. Hadn't she had enough money to eat properly? And what about the baby? If there really was one, had she been taking care of it?
She reached for her hair with trembling fingers. A band at the back of her neck held it in place. So it was long. Long enough for a ponytail. Her fingers explored slowly. The strands weren't silky smooth as she somehow knew they usually were; she needed to wash it. Grabbing her ponytail, she pulled her hair around where she could see it. Blond.
She didn't know what she'd been expecting, but she didn't feel like a blonde any more than she felt like an Anna. Or an expectant mother.
Ceasing her exploration, Anna raised her fist to her mouth, stifling a sob, trying to remember something - anything. And drew a complete blank. What about her baby's father? Had he been on the subway with her? Was he lying in this very hospital, unidentified, as she was? Was he hurt? Or worse? Nausea assailed her.
What if her memory didn't come back as the doctor believed? How was she going to survive? How was she ever going to take care of herself when she didn't even know who she was? When she didn't know what she could do. If she was trained for anything. Where she came from. If she had anyone ... or not.
She's pregnant. She has no memory. What's she going to do next? Anna suddenly stepped outside the situation, giving her problems to another woman, an imaginary unthreatening character over whom she had complete control. Something that felt strangely natural. All she had to do was decide what the woman was going to do next.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Yesterday's Memories by Tara Taylor Quinn Copyright © 2003 by Harlequin Enterprises Ltd.
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