Chapter One
Intent on checking her list and filling her grocery cart, Imani paused to listen to the happy gurgling sounds of the baby in the next aisle. It must be quite a little cutie to be spreading this much sunshine in the supermarket, she chuckled to herself as she placed a box of breakfast cereal into her cart. As she neared the end of the aisle, turned the corner, and started up the next, she anticipated seeing the little bundle of joy.
Focusing on the baby seater lodged on top of a bright yellow grocery cart on the left side of the aisle, she wasn't disappointed. Dressed in a Detroit Pistons sweat suit, a chubby baby with bright brown eyes and curly hair threw her a three-toothed-smile. Her heart melted when he extended a caramel-colored hand to her.
Cute! Cute! Cute! she thought, wanting to caress those dimpled cheeks. Returning the smile, she approached. She loved babies. If things had worked out the way she'd hoped, her own baby would have been about this size. With that thought she spared a glance at the tall figure kneeling beside the basket and attempting to maneuver a tray of Chunky Gourmet baby food from the bottom shelf.
The muscles in her chest seized and she struggled to breathe. Perry! Her senses screamed as she stiffened in alarm. It couldn't be. No! She didn't want to believe her eyes. The man had his back to her, but she still recognized the long, wide-shouldered torso, and the classic shape of his head.
Her fingers were ice cold as she quickly wheeled her basket around, glancing once more at the little charmer. Jabbering happily, he had both arms extended as he waited for her to pick him up. Was this Perry's baby? she wondered. It looked just like him!
Shaking, Imani briskly headed the other way. She would never forget how sick she'd been when she was carrying Perry's baby or the fact that she could have died. The memory of his initial suggestion that she "take care of it" still reverberated in her thoughts. When he realized that she fully intended to have the baby, he seemed to support her decision, but once she lost the baby, she couldn't look into his eyes without seeing relief there. Shortly after she ended their relationship, there'd been pictures in all the gossip magazines of Perry with a pregnant starlet, along with rumors that the two were getting married.
Perry was busy lifting a tray of gourmet baby food from the bottom shelf when Jimmy started to cry. Turning his head in surprise, because Jimmy rarely cried, he saw a tall, slim, curvy woman in tight black pants and a short peach tank top. On elegant black sandals, she was almost running the other way. Imani!
No one else looked that good just shopping in the supermarket. His heart beat faster as a thrill of excitement ran through him and he nearly dropped the tray. It had been more than a year since she'd dumped him, but he thought about her every day. No woman had ever affected him so powerfully. He didn't need to lift the stylish cap from her head and see the trademark fall of shiny, black hair to know that it was Imani.
Maneuvering carefully, he got the tray into the bottom of the cart. Then he lifted Jimmy into his arms. "Imani!" he called as the figure reached the end of the aisle and whipped around the corner. There was no response. "Did she leave you? I know how it feels, man," he told the still crying Jimmy as he patted his back in a soothing manner and inhaled the pleasant scent of baby power and baby shampoo. "She left me too."
Perry found a tissue in the diaper bag, wiped the tears from the baby's face and eyelashes and then his nose. "Do you think we ought to go get her back?" Jimmy simply looked at him and began talking gibberish again, but Perry already knew the answer to his question.
He and Imani had unfinished business. Placing Jimmy back in the basket, Perry took off after her.
Imani went all the way to the produce section at the other end of the store before she stopped to catch her breath. She'd heard him call her name, but how could she face him now? It hurt to see him with his baby. It should have been their baby! Covering her face, she fought tears and immobilizing pain.
Forget the past. He was not the man you thought he was and he never really loved you, she told herself, but her heart still ached. In all the time they'd been apart, she'd only just moved past a serious depression, while his life had to be ideal with a wife and that beautiful baby. What troubled her most was that deep inside she still harbored feelings for him, whether he deserved them or not.
Someone touched her arm. "Miss Celeste, are you all right? Do you need help?"
Dropping her hands, Imani shook her head, managing to smile at the stock boy. "No, Terrence. I've just got a headache."
"You sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure." Imani forced herself to take another look at her list to glean the produce items she needed. Briefly, she considered coming back at another time, but her mother's refrigerator needed restocking and she had several appointments scheduled for this week. If Perry insisted on talking to her, she was just going to have to handle it.
"Apples, bananas, and broccoli," she called out, forcing herself to concentrate as she snapped plastic bags from the roll and quickly gathered crisp red apples, golden bananas, and a thick, green bunch of broccoli. She checked the list again. "Cabbage, lettuce, and corn."
"Imani," a deep, provocative voice challenged her from behind. "We've been too much to each other for you to see me and run the other way."
At the sound of Perry's voice she took a calming breath and curved her lips into her trademark smile. He knew how easily she used that technique to hide her emotions, but she didn't care. When she turned, Perry Bonds stood there with the baby in his long arms.
The force of his bold, black brows emphasized the contours of his leaf brown eyes. The light in the supermarket played with the complex angles created by his jutting cheekbones, full cheeks and square chin to give him an attractiveness normally seen only on male models. He'd been working out again too, by the looks of the sculpted muscles shaping his arms and rise of milk chocolate skin peeking out of the open vee of his expensive sport short. There was a hungry look in his eyes that drew her and made her body tingle all over. Imani's mouth watered.
"Apparently I don't agree," she said, straightening her shoulders and lifting her head. "Seeing you brought back a lot of memories that I'm better off forgetting. How have you been?"
"Miserable. You're hard to replace and then there's the fact that I didn't want to."
At that she looked straight into his eyes and saw past his cocky expression. There was an inexplicable hint of sadness there. His words did not make sense, she reasoned, because if he were married to the starlet-harlot Rasheeda, he'd already replaced her, hadn't he? Perry had never been a cruel or vicious person, so why was he interested in seeing her now? Had his starlet proved to be less than wonderful?
"And how have you been?" he asked, obviously ignoring the fact that she'd failed to react to his statement.
"It took months for me to climb out of depression," she admitted frankly. "I had to see a doctor about it, but I'm a lot better now."
"I'm glad that you've recovered," he said with a warm sincerity that brought back memories of their past. He moved closer and she caught herself inhaling his fresh, familiar scent.
Seeing him standing in front her and hearing him talk of how irreplaceable she was, she thought of the pictures of the pretty starlet in the gossip magazines and the baby in his arms. The man had more balls than a bubblegum machine to be standing in her face trying to remind her of their past when he'd obviously been seeing someone else at the same time. Going for the jugular, Imani asked politely, "How's your wife?"
Giving her a strange look, Perry shook his head negatively. "I'm not married. You know it's only been a year since you broke our engagement."
The news hit her with the force of an earthquake. Imani swallowed hard and struggled for words to justify what she'd done when her world crumbled, leaving her helpless to cope. "It ... it seemed right at the time."
Perry shot her a disbelieving look. "No, it was never right. It was just easier than dealing with the pain." The baby strained forward, his busy little fingers just managing to touch an apple. Sighing, Perry shifted the baby to his other hip.
Imani grabbed the handle of her grocery cart and held on. "What's your baby's name?"
Lifting him, Perry smiled and kissed the top of the baby's head. "This is my nephew Jimmy. Want to hold him?"
Imani stared, speechless. She could have fainted right there. She moved only when Perry dropped the squirming baby into her arms. Shifting him, with one hand supporting his bottom and the other his head, she felt his little knees grip her hip.
Perry shook his head in disgust. "You thought he was mine! Imani, you should know me better than that. I know there was talk in the gossip magazines about me and Rasheeda, but we were just friends. You can't believe everything you read and you know as well as I do that when you're in the limelight, people have plenty to say. They made up stuff about us. When there's no real news, they make it up."
At Perry's revelation, Imani felt as if a load had been lifted from her chest. She breathed a sigh of relief and then caught herself. What did it matter now? Her relationship with Perry was in the past. Cooing, the baby grabbed at her earring. "No, Jimmy," she said softly, catching the little hand and kissing it.
She glanced back at Perry and caught him watching her and the baby, hope and tenderness coloring his expression. "I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions," she told him.
"If you're really sorry, you can make it up to me," he said, folding his arms. "I'll make it easy."
She considered his statement. "What do you have in mind?"
"Have dinner with me." He watched her intently.
"I don't think so!" she said quickly. She likened the thought to jumping off a cliff. She had no control where Perry was concerned.
"Why not?" he asked, challenging her with his eyes.
"Because it won't do any good." She met his gaze. "It's over. It's been over for months."
"Then why do I still think about you?" he asked in a low tone.
Imani nuzzled the baby's soft cheek with her own, fear growing within her as their encounter spun out of her control. In her secret heart she rejoiced at his words. She hadn't been able to stop thinking about him. But no one had ever hurt her as Perry had.
"Are you going to answer my question? If you really think it's over between us, then why do I still think about you?" he asked, repeating his question as he watched Jimmy play with her fingers and try to put them in his mouth.
"Maybe it's just force of habit." she answered.
"You know better than that." Perry touched her arm and she felt sensual heat radiating from his fingers to spread throughout her body. "If you won't have dinner with me, you could at least give me your phone number."
"Why?" she asked, throwing him a challenging look.
"So that I can stay in touch with you and see how you are. So that I can call you when nothing else gives me the peace I need to sleep at night. Can I do that?"
"Yes," Imani said, touched by something in his words and unable to deny the sincerity and need in his tone. She knew she shouldn't care, but she did. She gently placed Jimmy back into his arms and fished into her purse for one of her cards. With a gold pen, she wrote a number on the back. "I'll be at this number for a while," she explained.
"Thanks," Perry said, accepting the card.
Before either could say anything further, a couple of fans walked up and asked for Perry's autograph.
Imani seized the moment. "I've got to go. Take care."
"I'll take talk to you later," Perry called as he produced a pen.
She'd taken a few steps away when she came back to tuck a finger under Jimmy's double chin and kiss his cheek. She chuckled when he turned his little head and pressed his open mouth to her face in a parody of a kiss. "Good-bye, Jimmy"
As Imani stood in line and paid for her groceries, she tried to classify her feelings and failed. She felt glad, sad, excited, and scared all at the same time. Letting Perry back into her life would be a big risk. It wasn't as if she hadn't already learned this particular lesson. If you're still scared when he calls, you don't have to talk to him, she promised herself.
Perry signed the autographs and then casually headed towards the cash registers to get another glimpse of Imani. She was there all right, obviously unaware of all the attention she was getting from every male in the vicinity with that sexy outfit. The neckline of her shirt plunged enough to tantalize a man with the golden mounds of her breasts and its short length bared the band of skin above her tight pants. A diamond winked at him from her navel. Damn! he thought kicking himself, she's looking better than ever! What made things worse was that he couldn't rationalize the deep, sometimes gut-wrenchingly emotional tie they shared. It had
(Continues...)
Excerpted from The Love We Had by Natalie Dunbar. Copyright © 2001 by Natalie Dunbar. Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Copyright © 2001 Natalie Dunbar. All rights reserved.